Saturday, May 8, 2010

Belly Dance *

I took a belly dance class this past winter. I was inspired by a song called obviously enough, “Introduction to Belly dance”. I decided I needed this in my life. I needed something to reconnect me with the sexual being that so many have tried to convince me exists. I have been told I am a sexually powerful woman and as it was an email, I had to check the address-even though it was in my inbox. So, I decided I wanted to find a group of women whom I could connect with and maybe find myself again. I went online and discovered not only was there a class in my neighborhood but it was starting that week. Clearly this was meant to be. I contacted the instructor who told me that is was not a popular time and that she was not sure the class would run, but please feel free to come and hope for the best. Well, I did not lose faith and I was not disappointed. Too much had already gone in my favor; I was meant to take this class. Someone will show up. And what an amazing and diverse group of women came. The first day of class, we go around the room talking about our reasons for being there. There is the beautiful Costa Rican woman who is trying to reconnect with her body after suffering the muscular deterioration from Lupus. Immediately I feel connected to her through my mother. There is the stunning equestrian who wants to connect to her femininity because she lives and works in a barn with horses. There are the two friends, both of whom are gorgeous, statuesque women seeking a way to work out and get in shape after having taken time off to raise their children. They say they have done everything, tried everything and aren’t seeing the results they need. Then it is my turn. Why am I here? What am I looking for? My answer is utterly honest and floods out of me. “I am here because I am in the midst of a major identity crisis and I need to reconnect with my inner goddess.” Ok, I’m afraid to even look up. These women are going to eat me alive. What was I thinking? After a moment, I let out my breath, which I have apparently been holding, and one of the friends just laughs and says, “I want her reason. I want my inner goddess too.” The whole class chimes in talking about inner goddesses and family and the need for something independent of wife and mother. Class begins. I am in the right place. Thank you Universe. I am, as always, utterly humbled.
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