Wednesday, August 28, 2013


In the past year I have had a lot of time to contemplate my love life mistakes.  I have all too often made myself the sacrificial lamb in the relationship, thinking somehow that if I was willing to sacrifice, it meant that I loved the person so much that I would do anything for him.  Sound familiar?  Worse yet, I still punish myself for allowing it to happen and feel the weight of responsibility despite the fact that I was likely dating a douc...not nice person.  But in a partnership, there has to be equilibrium.  Nature abhors a vacuum, and yet as women, we are often taught to seek one; an empty vessel which we can can pour all of ourself into until there is nothing left.  And guess what?  When you're done pouring all of yourself; your love, your life, your dreams....your money and time and energy into this other person, they walk away with all of you and you are left an empty vessel.  Sometimes we seek someone else to fill us up, sometimes we find resources to rebuild and replenish, sometimes we even have children or pets but still we seek out that other person whom we can pour all of ourselves into.  

Never allow yourself to be made less.  Never mistake comfortable for convenient.  If someone says they love being with you because they are so comfortable, make sure that isn't code for "I don't have to work at it.  I don't have to compromise and I don't have to commit."  Relationships are work and if they are not, then likely they are not working, either.  Don't make the mistake of making yourself convenient.  We are all far better than convenient.

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