Friday, January 18, 2013

-- The Podcasts Are Coming --

Dear Faithful Readers

I am moving into the next generation and creating audio versions of my most popular blog posts.  Eventually I hope to have audio files for all the posts however this is a slightly daunting project so for now we'll be marking all the updated entries with a *.

You can also visit our YouTube page for all the updated posts.

Thank you for your continued support and please share the links.  There are a lot of Singlemarriedgirls (and boys) out there looking for a voice.

Saturday, January 5, 2013


I’ve been thinking about God, the Universe, Karma and all things divine lately.   I am facing some pretty scary things, fallout from my past which is still lingering like a little dingle berry on the adorably dimpled butt of an otherwise perfect ass  though ironically I am also happier, healthier and more satisfied in my life and my path than I have been in years. Wait, did I just call myself an ass?   Ah well, I suppose that is the way of things.  The path is never easy or clear…or maybe it’s never easy or clear for me.  

For anyone who doesn’t know me, I am a staunchly undecided Universalist Agnostic.  Clear as mud, eh? Ok, I believe in a higher power though I am never comfortable with the very limiting label of “God”.  Too many things attach to that nom de plume.  I think everyone has it a little right and a lot wrong.  I do think there is an intelligent energy or entity, call it love, that surrounds and protects us, wishes the best for us and occasionally comes to visit in a form which the viewer can recognize and understand.  

But as I was considering this idea, I started to wonder about something.  If we are truly made in the image and form of this divine parent, then does God enjoy the same things we do?  

Does she laugh at Guilty Dog?  Does she secretly play solitaire then quickly change her screen as soon as one of the seraphim walks in?  Does she enjoy bad karaoke and good pasta?  Does she ever take eternal duckface pictures which no human may look upon?

And does her heart break as ours do when we see humans hurting one other in her name?  Does she feel the frustration of inadequate gun control and ineffective medical care?  Does she have time to keep up or does she too get her news from Jon Stewart and Twitter?

How often have you had to ask yourself, how will my mother feel about this, my father?  Will my family still love me, support me?  Will my friends turn away? 

And how often have we asked God’s forgiveness without asking it of our friends, our family, ourselves?  I know we are all flawed versions of something greater than ourselves, but perhaps the closest we can get to God isn’t to try and live by some outdated doctrine or xenophobic guideline.  Perhaps the truest representation of your God, Universe, Love, Nirvana, Heaven on Earth or whatever is simply to think if God’s heart also beats as yours, do you really want to break it?  Act in a way which makes you proud and happy and stop arguing about who is the most right.  Who the hell cares?  You won’t win God’s approval for being the most right.  You already have it; your job is to live like you want it. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year

It’s nothing new.  Everyone does it, takes stock as we approach the New Year on how this particular year has stacked up against the previous ones.  We all say thanks for the blessings we’ve received and goodbye to the loved ones we’ve lost.  We assess our life goals, health goals, career goals and often coming short of our unrealistic expectations for what was possible in one cycle of the sun, we vow to do better in the coming year.  

For the last four December 31sts I have rung in the New Year with hope for the future and a less than fond, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out” to the cr*p storm that comprised the previous 12 months.  The problem with this yearly ritual is that our judgment of our goals, accomplishments, joys and hardships is often clouded by the events of the last couple months leading up to the event.  You might completely brush aside the amazing promotion you got in January because the bloom is off the rose a bit with the reality of the day to day responsibilities or the longer commute.  That tan from the week in Maui last February has long since faded.   And of course, the end of the year, the beginning of the next often serves as a painful marker for the loss of a loved one, knowing you are leaving his or her last year with you and entering the first without him or her.  

But that being said, I would like to propose a new ritual, much like an advent calendar, a month long review of the year’s accomplishments, successes and joys.  Thirty one days of pure, unadulterated self-praise.  Because if you consider that you have only had 365 (or 366 if it’s a leap year) days to accomplish all this, you will realize that you had or more importantly made something good happen at least 10% of your year.  And I’m not talking about one of those daily affirmation, “I am grateful for” things, though those also serve a noble purpose.  I’m talking about some full on indulgent self trumpeting.  Because my guess is, once you start stacking up all that you have done or seen or enjoyed, once you become aware of the big as well as the little successes and joys in your life, you will enter the new year not with a sense of foreboding but with a sense of wonder and excitement at toppling the previous year’s tally.  And isn’t that really what the new year is about?  It’s not about relief for what has past.  It is about excitement for what is to come.