Monday, April 15, 2013

A Model Evening

Tonight I had a serious modeling epic fail. I chose a pose which seemed fine, held it with no issues for the first 30 minutes. But as I started the second session, I knew there was a problem. Pain started sparking all though out my lower body and my right shoulder. Next thing I knew, I had lost feeling in the inside of my right leg. Not like it went numb but like I had nerve damage. No worries, it's happened before; it's a pinched nerve in my back which means about three days from now I'll feel it again. But in the meantime, my right arm fell asleep, but just enough so that I didn't realize it until I went to get up and punched myself in the face every time I tried to put my robe back on. Then Ministry of Silly Walks for 5 minutes while I try to get feeling back. Now rinse and repeat for the next two hours. Which all wouldn't be so bad, except this is a two week pose! Fail!


"Connecticut is a horrible tragedy and a heinous act of cruelty without compare.  I cannot even imagine the pain for the families, parents, teachers, administrators and community and I pray for them and for all the parents who are experiencing fear today thinking about their own children.  But the answer is not to pull your child out of school, to hide them away from the world.  It is impossible to protect your child at all times

Today I am thankful for my parents.  I can't fathom the depth of sadness that has been forged today for the parents, teachers, staff and community of Connecticut.  And today, I send out all my love to my friends who are parents; who are more frightened today than they were yesterday, who are holding their children so tightly with tears in their eyes which they hope to never have to explain, who are questioning every choice they've ever made about public schools or mall outings, birthday parties.  Wondering if they should have chaperoned that field trip.  I know it is scary but your bravery to allow your child a life of joy and independence, scary as it may be is noble.  Because you have instilled to the best of your ability wisdom, knowledge and good judgement.  You have raised a child of whatever age to understand right from wrong, to use caution crossing the street or talking to strangers.  And because you cannot control the actions of a psycho.  So hold your little one (or big one) close, talk about what happened at an age appropriate level and then let him or her go and play.  Because a happy life cut short is a terrible tragedy, but a life unlived out of fear is unfathomable."

This was my reaction to Newtown.  Today, in a horrible act of cruelty, there was an attack on the Boston Marathon, the city of Boston and in an evil twist of irony, the survivors and families of Newtown, who were being honored by the 26 miles of the marathon and took their places as VIP guests of honor at the finish line.

I reread this today, to bring myself a little solace but I feel I need to add a bit.  Bravery comes in all shapes and sizes, from parents who accept the fear on behalf of their children, so that those same children can live a life without it, to first responders and good Samaritans who run not from but toward danger to help others, to those of us who may not feel like heroes, but who refuse to stop living out of fear.  

Fear too comes in all shapes and sizes.  I would rather live a life cut short in the throws of happiness, than spend my dotage in the dark depths of fear.  Today we were reminded of how quickly a life can change, how a whole, able-bodied person can be damaged, mangled even killed in a moment's time.  And yet, I hope that this does not drive you into the dark, into the shadows and away from the light.  I refuse to die in little pieces, stripped of the happiness for which I fight so hard.  It isn't just the children who are in danger of dying.  Each of us must make that choice, every day to step out the door and risk our own demise.  So hold your loved ones close, use this as an opportunity to reach out, to re-evaluate, to up the ante, but never to stop!