Friday, April 2, 2010

The Email & the Mantra *

So, I am posting things a bit out of order because I have much to tell you and at some point I feel it necessary to fill you in on the last few years, but for now, I just want to share some fun anecdotes before I start delving too deep in pathos. I’ve been very bad about my blog and have been quite neglectful which is foolish as so much has happened. But for now I am only going to write about now and I promise, I'll catch you up later. Just know that my identity crisis is an ongoing challenge but that sometimes, you just have to put it aside and treasure the day you are in. I had just the most lovely morning with my dear friend and her little one and then a most enjoyable drive into work, with the sunshine and the anticipation that comes with the first effervescent burst of spring. I was so excited, I started to roll down my windows. Then I thought better of it when I realized how cold it truly was outside. The funny thing is that now that I am dating myself, I realized I had no one to share this wonderful feeling with. My friends were not online and I couldn’t get a hold of anyone over the phone. As the day wore on, I started to become quite melancholy at the absence of anyone even in my email. And then I thought, well maybe since I’m already taking myself out on a date these days, I should just send myself a message about what a wonderful day I was having. At first it was just an exercise but the most delightful message came out of me with little thought at all. I chose not to reread it because after I hit send, I closed my email in the hopes of forgetting it and getting to re-experience the nice things I had to say to myself. I find I like myself more and more each day. But I will share it with you now.

Just thought I would send a quick hug and a snuggle to let you know I was thinking about you. We had a fire drill today and it was such a lovely diversion to just stand outside in the sunshine in relative silence. I am so excited about the coming of spring and it makes me want to find time to take you to the park. We haven't been out there in quite some time and I think we might be overdue for a little R&R. Anyway, hope this brightens your day a bit. See you tomorrow on the treadmill. Have fun tonight at dinner. Can't wait to hang out again-call me if you are going out, but no pressure. Love you, girl!

I know it is no great new convention-there's a whole industry dedicated to motivational speaking and self affirmation-but I still have to say, I highly recommend dropping yourself a line on occassion. I mean, we anthropomorphize our pets and various inanimate objects and no one thinks we're odd (well, some do, but who cares what they think, right?), so why not the occassional email from the best friend who is your better self?

I also found a TO DO list that I had written a couple of weeks ago and I intend to review it once a week because once again, it was extraordinarily insightful for something I just jotted down in an unguarded moment. I realized upon rediscovery that this was not so much a TO DO list as a long mantra. Here is an excerpt from my list:

Achieve balance and centeredness

Learn to view self as a friend

See myself as others see me

Find and explore my skills and attributes while adding to repertoire of talents

Spend more time with family and friends

Do not obsess on a man or lose myself in someone else

Travel min 4 times this year.

If you feel like they are worthwhile, please take what you need and leave the rest. Like those little penny containers at the drug store. If you have pearls of wisdom, please add to the list. It's an ongoing exercise in growth and change and I'm sure I and many can use all the help we can get!

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