A search of self-discovery from a woman facing for the first time the world of dating, love, life and independence following a decade+ of married life. Funny, poignant, quirky and cool, Laurel is the girl you always thought you wanted to be...until you read her blog!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I am simultaneously studying the harp, bellydancing, silks (the kind you hang from like Cirque de Soleil) and pole dancing. I am excited to go to the library to start and not finish the complete works of Sherlock Holmes. I feel as though my senses are being assaulted with new and wonderful experiences that I neither expected nor want to process. I am on a quest to find the fun again without actually getting too distracted to make progress personally or professionally. I have been more satified with my dates with myself than I have been satisfied with my relationships in years. And I have had the most delightful FB chat exchanges with longtime friends who's humors have renewed my spirits and who's love of the absurd so clearly mirrors my own. Today I decided I would speak as though I was in a Jane Austen novel and I called my ex Mr. Darcy, which seemed fitting. I am going to a Privateer Feast on Saturday so me thinks at least one day this week needs to be talk like a pirate day. I am trying to work this all out but in the meantime, let us make merry! I have started a list of challenges for myself based on the fact that I haven't actually made a decision in years. No, it's true. I never pick the restaurant, I just narrow it down to 2-3. I never pick the movie, I just narrow down the choices or pick the genre. I read what is recommended and I realized I have even started certain activities for the people in my life so I have been systematically categorizing my activities based on whether I did them for myself or for someone else, and, more importantly, do I continue them for myself or for someone else. I did discover I started Tai Chi for ex and quit for him, but now I have begun again for me because I miss it. Which means that it must be for me. But I started a book on CD for someone else, and it doesn't speak to me at all. At first I thought, "it's a book on CD, where's the harm?" Ah, but that is insideous, is it not? This is the danger of such a slippery slope. Next you are just laying there because it's easier than hurting his feelings. OK, maybe that's the extreme, but I felt quite empowered to "just say no" to the book on CD! I am treating my life like I am preparing for a yard sale. If it doesn't fit anymore or I haven't used it in a year or more, will I really miss it? Time to let it go to someone who will really love it. And who knows what I'll get with the money from the sale!
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